Dating Problems Every Lesbian Will Recognize

– So I guess this is good… bye. Hey, you still have my Buffy season two DVDs! You bitch. – Aw, Britt, don’t look so sad. It’s been like a month since she’s broke up with you. Come on, you gotta get back out there. – I went on, like, three dates last week, and they were all failures. – What happened? Were they horse lesbians? – No, this was actually a blind date that I had high hopes for. You know, got my puss waxed for it. But I get there, and she’s practically my twin. Like, I’m narcissistic, but I’m not gonna have sex with myself. – It could be fun though.

You guys could like, trade lives like in The Parent Trap. – That was a good movie. – Yeah, but what about your second date? What was wrong with her? Was she a CrossFit lesbian? Like show up with a tractor tire and a kettle bell? – No, second one was actually going really well until her ex-girlfriend showed up out of nowhere and declared her undying love for her and that she built her house with her bare fucking hands. – Aww, that’s so romantic. – U-Haul! Typical. – What about the third date? Lucky number three? – No, that was the worst of all. – But it looks like it’s going so well. – No, look closer. We have the same name. Hi, my name is Brittany, and this is my girlfriend, Brittany? That’s disgusting. What would that wedding invite look like? – I mean, have you tried online dating? – Yeah. I’ve swiped ’til the end of Tinder.

Do you know what that feels like? – No! – We met in person. – Like, years ago. – Yeah, before Tinder. – I’m sure there are plenty of single lesbians left for you in this town. – Yeah, we have a lot of single lesbian friends. – Like Jacqueline! Ok, I met her and a feminist friend. She’s very empowered. She talks about vulvas and how they mean something more than what we think they mean. – No, she hooked with my ex like two years ago at Dina. – Hold on to your taco shell because here comes Cynthia! – Oh, she’s great. – Yeah, I know she’s great. I dated her. – We have a bunch of straight girls who I feel like if you got them a glass of wine things would get a little crazy, right? Like Marsha? – No, I’m done with the whole straight girl thing.

I can’t do that anymore. They think my clit is a pencil eraser. – No, I know that my sister would sleep with you. – She said I was pretty for a lesbian once. I just wanna find a nice, available, single woman who knows she’s into other women that’s done experimenting, isn’t going to move into my apartment after two weeks, hasn’t, you know, slept with people I’ve slept with. Is it really that difficult? Thank you. – What are you reading? – I know, I’m a stereotype. – Ooh, yikes, me too. – Oh, incredible. – But at least you’re – not alone. – ‘Sup? You Brittany? I’m Jean. .

9 Questions Gay People Have For Straight People

– Why is my sexuality “a lifestyle”? – Why do you call it a lifestyle? – Like choosing to wear a dress? – He lives by the beach, that’s his lifestyle. – It’s not really a lifestyle. It’s just my life. Why is that when you find out that I’m gay, you think that I want you? – Standards, first of all. – Everyone has a type. You might not be their type. – Don’t flatter yourself. – Why are you so worried about how I’m going to have kids? – Why does it matter if I’m going to have kids or not? – Technically, the world is overpopulated and me not reproducing is helping you out. – So if I want to have kids, I’m pretty sure I can figure it out. – Why do you feel the need to ask who’s the man and who’s the woman in the relationship? – Last I checked, we were both women.

– That’s why we’re together. Both have lady parts. – Why do you get offended if people ask if you’re gay? – Why would you be offended that someone thinks you’re gay? – I don’t get offended when people think I’m straight. – I mean, I kinda do. – There are worse things. How does it feel to be accurately represented in everything? – Every single show and film ever. – Why is your definition of diversity a gay white man? – I can’t think of anyone who reminds me of me. – The most that I had was Buffy. And she was straight. – Sailor Moon would probably be the closest representation of a young gay Asian. – Why is it that you have such a large dating pool? – But still a really high divorce rate? – Because it’s real marriage because it’s heterosexual. – Why do you have to call it a gay wedding? – It’s just a wedding. – It’s just a wedding. – Is it just so you can charge us more? – If two black people were getting married, would you call it a black wedding? Why do you try to set us up with the very next gay person you see? – I don’t try to set you up with the other straight guy I know.

– We have Tinder or Grinder. What do gay ladies use? Oh, we don’t have one. Okay, never mind. Thank you for trying to set us up. We need help. – You have to take into account the percentage of women that are interested in women and then those precentage of women who I’m attracted to and then those percentage of women who are attracted to me and then those percentage of women that you know, I have chemistry with and that our personalities line up.

And that’s like three women. Maybe. .