Dating Problems Every Lesbian Will Recognize

– So I guess this is good… bye. Hey, you still have my Buffy season two DVDs! You bitch. – Aw, Britt, don’t look so sad. It’s been like a month since she’s broke up with you. Come on, you gotta get back out there. – I went on, like, three dates last week, and they were all failures. – What happened? Were they horse lesbians? – No, this was actually a blind date that I had high hopes for. You know, got my puss waxed for it. But I get there, and she’s practically my twin. Like, I’m narcissistic, but I’m not gonna have sex with myself. – It could be fun though.

You guys could like, trade lives like in The Parent Trap. – That was a good movie. – Yeah, but what about your second date? What was wrong with her? Was she a CrossFit lesbian? Like show up with a tractor tire and a kettle bell? – No, second one was actually going really well until her ex-girlfriend showed up out of nowhere and declared her undying love for her and that she built her house with her bare fucking hands. – Aww, that’s so romantic. – U-Haul! Typical. – What about the third date? Lucky number three? – No, that was the worst of all. – But it looks like it’s going so well. – No, look closer. We have the same name. Hi, my name is Brittany, and this is my girlfriend, Brittany? That’s disgusting. What would that wedding invite look like? – I mean, have you tried online dating? – Yeah. I’ve swiped ’til the end of Tinder.

Do you know what that feels like? – No! – We met in person. – Like, years ago. – Yeah, before Tinder. – I’m sure there are plenty of single lesbians left for you in this town. – Yeah, we have a lot of single lesbian friends. – Like Jacqueline! Ok, I met her and a feminist friend. She’s very empowered. She talks about vulvas and how they mean something more than what we think they mean. – No, she hooked with my ex like two years ago at Dina. – Hold on to your taco shell because here comes Cynthia! – Oh, she’s great. – Yeah, I know she’s great. I dated her. – We have a bunch of straight girls who I feel like if you got them a glass of wine things would get a little crazy, right? Like Marsha? – No, I’m done with the whole straight girl thing.

I can’t do that anymore. They think my clit is a pencil eraser. – No, I know that my sister would sleep with you. – She said I was pretty for a lesbian once. I just wanna find a nice, available, single woman who knows she’s into other women that’s done experimenting, isn’t going to move into my apartment after two weeks, hasn’t, you know, slept with people I’ve slept with. Is it really that difficult? Thank you. – What are you reading? – I know, I’m a stereotype. – Ooh, yikes, me too. – Oh, incredible. – But at least you’re – not alone. – ‘Sup? You Brittany? I’m Jean. .

A Therapy Session For Homophobic People

The Internet is so great isn’t it connecting the world allowing us to stalk our exes that we miss giving us memes bringing us closer to Beyonce but imagine being so salty that you use the Internet to target people and spread hey take this chick for example I’m sick and tired of this gross gay people like stop marriage is for men and woman disgraceful beep what’s next go see your doctor you beep now beyond the spelling mistakes a seeing angry person behind a screen that needs help so let’s help them in real life therapy’s in session so tell me what’s on your mind gay people bother me is it because they dress better than you because they’re destroying the planet uh-huh interesting I thought that was plastic bottles silly me what makes you say that look it was Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve oh I see what you did there dr.

Seuss very nice Adam you see very nice here’s the thing though I fail to see the relevance cuz it’s also Ellen and Portia not Ellen and Michael oh but that didn’t rhyme is that okay do you still get it look they’re going against God really and how does it feel to get updates from God yeah just God text yours God more of a DM person I just know what God intended and when your friend God text you a meme are you all like oh my god it’s a sin Oh or when you say god dammit does God ever apply like I can’t I’m busy wow you’re so religiously woke marriage has always been between a man and a woman mm-hmm and boding used to only be between a white men and the government things change that’s not why marriage was created and that’s not why the eggplant emoji was created but if you look at your last text that’s different said one of your eyebrows to the other why exactly does game urge bother you so much when it doesn’t affect you at all are you bored do you have a job do you with anyone besides Alexa because I need to protect the institution of marriage well how Ned Stark of you can you explain how you are protecting marriage by forbidding people who are genuinely in love from getting married they’re not in love they’re confused and sick Wow and you want to help them you’re basically doctors without borders’ except with one border your mind I don’t get it if you want to protect marriage why don’t you protest against divorce I mean I don’t think that’s a good idea but I’m just really trying to understand your obsession I am NOT obsessed you little you’re swearing really makes your point more valid you are such little that’s good okay uh-huh yeah I’m really I’m really hearing you know maybe try swearing and capslock all you need really smart stuff do you feel better you doesn’t make me sick to my stomach yeah for you’re a little upset tum tum don’t let the Rainbows bite you know gay couples can’t even bear children oh okay well neither can infertile women and guys with low sperm count why aren’t you being a twitter gangster against them if everyone was gay there would be no humanity and if everyone was a potato there would be no humanity but everyone is not a potato just as everyone is not gay young grasshopper also there’s about 153 million orphans in the world right now might be good to adopt them not you you’d be a horrible parent okay but gay couples will raise gay kids oh right yeah you mean like how a whole bunch of straight parents raise gay kids who’s that is that what you meant or did you did you mean something else or that bullying me I’m entitled to my own opinion this isn’t fair I am so sorry that you are a victim of bullying that combined with your awful grammar must be very hard but your opinion and similar ideas contribute to actual laws being made against gay people so if you have an opinion about pineapple on pizza I don’t care but it’s illegal to be gay in some countries imagine if the government took away your right to be yourself however would you douchebag about it’s just unnatural so are your boobs eyelashes and highlights you don’t get to decide what’s natural contour green typical leftist oh no sweetheart this isn’t a left or right thing it’s more so a right or wrong thing are you saying I’m wrong for being homophobic no I don’t really like the term homophobic it implies that you have some sort of phobia whereas I think you’re just a jerk oh I’m sorry were you talking I was busy tweeting here’s what I think the problem is you feel entitled to such an extent that you think you can dictate people’s lives you and everyone else that’s gonna leave a hate comment underneath this video to prove your point you pick pieces of ancient text and ignore facts and figures from today people with human compassion critical thinking skills and at least one hobby to fill their time don’t really care if two men are dating there are too busy doing things and I know it’s scary but if you opened your mind half as much as you opened your mouth we’d all be in a better place you’re wrong I’d like to prescribe you with a bottle of common sense okay please take two tablets daily while listening to Sam Smith side effects may include minding your own damn business it sounds complicated should we uh maybe discuss it over dinner just say hey I hope you enjoyed this video and I don’t really believe in fighting fire with fire but sometimes I got our SAS people as an ally of the lgbtq+ community happy pride may be safe and have a great celebration if you want to subscribe I make new videos every Monday and Thursday one love superwoman that is a wrap and