Weird Things Gay Couples Do: Public Vs. Private

– I wanna go to the movie and be excited. – I wanna be surprised. – I don’t feel that. – Really? There’s… – Hey guys, I think we’re gonna take off. – Ah, gay! (chuckles) – Excuse me? – Uh. – I might be late tonight. (smack) – Gay. (swooshing and creaking) – Well, thank you! – Woop. (squeak and thud) (loud sigh) – You know, can I just get some, like, chicken and steamed vegetables? – And I just want a house salad, no cheese, dressing on the side.

(crunching) – Hi, uh, can I do the rose and rye, like gold dusted? – And, um, Macallan 18 with just one ice cube. – Ooh, fancy. Hmm. – Beer in can, beer in a bottle? – Beer in a bottle. – Ooh, fancy. – You’re a trickster. – I am. Ticked you into staying with me. – That’s true. (smack) (loud background conversations) – Aren’t you freezing? – No. – Do you want my coat? – No, no. I look super cute. (exasperated sigh) – Mmm, super cute. – Fuck off, I’m cold. – Okay, Banjo. Banjo (clicks tongue) bow! – Aww! – Yeah, I taught him that. (sigh) – Did you teach him this one, too? (exasperated sigh) (sheets rustling) – I don’t want to go. – I love you. – I love you. – I love you. I love you more. – This is not true. – Yeah. – I am the one who loves you more. – I’ll miss you. – I’ll see you at home? – Yes, I will see you at home. (sigh) – Hey, I love you. (smack) – I love you, too.

– Gay! (chuckles) It is gay, it is gay. (swooshing and squeaking) .